Thursday, December 2, 2010

thursday's thoughts

disclaimer: this is about two weeks worth of my tweets since i skipped last week. enjoy!

1.) "Bags are packed, I'm ready to go..." #VegasBitches #RoundTwo

2.) Dear Bammers sippin' on the haterade, weagle weagle Cam is legal!! How'd those words taste now!? #Hehehe

3.) Brrrrr, it's nipply outside... #SoColdImCuttingGlass #Ha!

4.) Craziness: I was so busy tonight that I completely forgot to eat dinner. Fed the girls, but not myself. How does that even happen? #PlainSad

5.) My Christmas cards were just delivered on my doorstep. Now the fun begins of addressing them. #HotDiggityDog #Sarcasm #MerryChristmas

6.) RT @capricecrane: "I don't have girlfriends because other woman are jealous of me," is a delusional way to say, "I'm a raging bitch."

7.) I believe U-Haul should hire my kid because all she wants to do is move furniture. All.Day.Long. #SerenityNow

8.) spitting on the tall one as i try to teach her the difference between "B" and "P." tough job, but someone's gotta do it.

9.) My child has been singing my most favorite Christmas song that I sang at her age for my Xmas program. #AwayInAManger #BlastFromThePast

10.) Today I love kids. Absolutely adore them. In fact, now I want 18 of the little midgets. Just don't ask me tomorrow. #MayHaveJustJinxedMyself

11.) RT @capricecrane: Next time someone calls you a disappointment, remind them everyone is great at something and you excel at disappointing.

12.) Hubs has arrived back home from a day of golf. Now I shall venture on a kidless quest. Free at last, free at last!! #MaritalCompromise

13.) Neighbors are showing us up. Time to get to work, Griswold style. #MerryChristmas Tinsel and toddlers. Not a good combination. #TrustMe

14.) Dear Krispy Kreme, must you really seal up the box when people order from the drive-thru? Because we all know one will be eaten on car ride home...or two...or three...

15.) Oh look!! Auburn meet the game. Game, this is Auburn. Glad y'all could finally show up. #WarDamnEagle Victory never tasted SO.DAMN.SWEET. #28-27 #IronBowlChampions

16.) Note to self: Perhaps I shouldn't let the short one play w/ phone or else something from UK will be ordered requiring "collect in store."

17.) Is ashamed that my kid is better at Fruit Ninja than I am. #TooTechSavvyForOwnGood

18.) Gettin' my hair done did because on this Thanksgiving, the turkey is not the only thing that has to look good.

19.) Fortune cookie reads: "Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!" What this implies is #VegasBitches #Dirty30Birthdays

20.) Q: Wanna know what warms my heart on this dreary day? A: Belting opera-like Christmas carols in the car with my girls who wail along too.

21.) Nothing's more satisfying than when a douche' nearly runs you off the road speeding & then minutes later gets pulled over by cop. #SuckIt

22.) Is thankful for Thanksgiving playdates otherwise I'd have no idea what to do with my kids today. They can thank me later. #ThankGoodness

23.) Is so hungry that it feels like Baby Jemma is gnawing at my small intestine. #NeedDinnerAsap

24.) Just watched kids play corn hole on Talk of Alabama and was disgusted. They couldn't even hit the board. Practice much? #Shameful