Thursday, March 24, 2011

NICU: day 15

two weeks ago, we endured two consecutive scary days of bad news and now it feels as if history is repeating itself. i'll never forget hearing though in those earlier days the nurses and doctors telling us that, "it'll get worse before it gets better." at first those words were really hard to swallow, but i tucked them in the back of my mind for times like these because for the most part, they have deemed to be true. i'm assuming that this is one of the "worse" because tomorrow will be "better." that said, here is what went down via jay's recollection (thank god your daddy is smart, jemma...mommy would have just written, "bad day" and been done with it)...

"today our little fighter had two surgeries: a shunt and a central IV catheter. she came out of surgery like a trooper. right off the vent and onto her nasal cannula at room air oxygen levels. the surgeon called to tell us that the shunt was successful but that because heads are so vascular, she had developed a bleed between her skull and skin which formed a nice pocket of blood. they were concerned with her pale color and low hematocrit levels when she returned to the NICU so they ordered her more blood and her pink color came back. they assessed the scalp bleed by ultrasound and determined that it was stable. they noted a decrease in ventricle size (good) due to the shunt and called for a hematology consult for a second opinion because of the bleed. currently, all of her clotting factors are within normal ranges and so they are trying to determine if they missed anything. in other words, does she have a blood disorder which is causing all of these small bleeds or is it because her blood vessels are so sensitive due to being on ECMO? i spoke with the hematologist tonight after we left and she asked if we had any history of any bleeding disorders in either sides of our family (answer is no). baby jemma had a tough day, but when we came in, she was wide-eyed and sucking on her paci. such a tough little girl. we stayed with her until she fell asleep, said a quiet prayer and wished her a restful night."in the above picture, you can see where the incision from her shunt is located. no worries, my sweet child...your beautiful hair will cover that right up. also, lola and pawpaw came to visit again tonight as our little fighter "jabbin' jemma" held pawpaw's finger while she slept. they love you so much, sweet girl. the nurses also saved a piece of your hair for us since after all, it was your first true "haircut." we all know that needs documentation too, right? but of course. big sisters, abby and lya, also came to visit but they never went inside the NICU. instead they played in their wagon (their most favorite thing about children's hospital) while in the waiting room. they want to see you so bad, but abby has a lingering cough which forbids them from entering. it shouldn't last much longer and then you can be reunited with your big sisters for a bit. now that will be one of those "better" days, i just know it.all in all, today made me mad. that's one of the emotions i haven't fully felt yet. speaking for myself, it feels like every time we try and get one thing resolved, another pesky little complication pops up. rinse and repeat. i feel like i can't truly feel relieved or even celebrate the one thing because now i'm worried about a new thing. even dr. karle joked with us and said, "i'm going to stop telling ya'll the possible negatives that could happen because they keep happening." so then she kept saying that jemma was going to do this and that (all positive things) and tomorrow they will happen. we love dr. karle. she really gives us in depth information to let us visualize the big picture because after all, "it'll get worse before it gets better."

lastly, my dear friend slammy sent us a big box of cookies today. ummmm, how did she know that of all days, i would NEED those cookies!? in fact, we DESERVE those cookies. thank you so much, slammy. we love you!

3 comments:

Amber said...

Kim you are all in my prayers. Your sweet girl is gonna pull through this and your family is going to be stronger, your faith is going to be stronger, and your love for each other will be stronger. You have so many people praying for your family. I can't imagine what you are going through and I just cried reading today's post but Jemma is strong and she's gonna be just as sweet and sassy as her big sisters :)

TeamDavis said...

I love seeing that sweet girl with her paci :)

Erin Holton said...

Kim,
I'm so sorry to hear about every thing your pretty little girl has been going through. She's in our prayers and I just know she's going to get stronger everyday, look at the family she has to look forward to! We miss you guys!