Tuesday, March 15, 2011

NICU: day 6

today jay and i dropped off abby and lyla with auntie maloney so that they could have a fun filled playdate with claire bear. soon after we headed to the hospital to visit sweet baby jemma. after entering the NICU, washing our hands, and greeting her nurse, we were told that jemma had given her a "run for her money" earlier that morning and completely pulled out her vent tube. oh sweet girl, what a handful you already are. can't say i blame you...i wouldn't want that thing down my throat either. fortunately, the nurse said that it was the least traumatic reinsertion ever. good to know. this picture is of what we saw as we walked up. notice her hand under her chin...as if she's thinking, "yeah, i'm a sneaky one...ya'll better watch out for me." sweet mess.she also told us that they were planning to put a PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) in and that they are still trying to draw labs to figure out what has caused all of this. this info was pretty much the gist of this morning's visit. we sat with her for awhile and talked to her as she rested well. later, we ate lunch and then picked up the girls after playing all day with friends.

we arrived home and all took a much needed nap considering sleep the night before was nonexistent (at least for me it was). dinner time rolls around and our friend christi comes over with not only a lovely dinner, but to stay for a couple of hours to watch the girls as we ran up to the hospital again. these two-a-days are becoming a nice little habit. we just want to be bedside and with our sweet girl. once we arrived, the nurse practitioner talked with us for a good bit. she told us that jemma has "stable hydrocephalus." that it's not bad, but they did make a note of it in her chart. jay asked if they thought she would need a shunt and they said there's not much concern since it has been reported "stable" for the last 3 days and that her body will reabsorb it thus correcting itself. meaning it's not getting any bigger and it was caused from the minor brain bleed. also, they want to do a spinal tap on her tonight to rule out meningitis. they want to run every test imaginable just to "look under every rock and cover all their bases" just in case there is an infection anywhere since her platelet count was down upon admission. we signed consents. then we were told that she still has the mass in her heart (5mm x 6mm). jay then asked what happens if all of her infectious tests have been completed and come back negative as well as the antibiotics running there course and the mass is still there...what would be the next step? she was unable to answer and said the doctors would determine that. so guess who's going bright and early in the morning to ask the doctors?? ding-ding, jaydoug!

overall, they still don't know what the mass in her heart is, but are trying to narrow it down. they are going to try and start feeding her mommy's liquid gold (aka breastmilk) tomorrow and see how she tolerates it. also, they put in the PICC line but couldn't get it central so they'll have to redo it again tomorrow. tita karla came by to visit tonight and brought sweet baby jemma a surprise: a fluffy pink bunny rabbit! it's adorable. thank you, tita karla!lastly, i'm not sure how long the rest of this journey will be but one thing's for certain, i definitely couldn't handle going through this without jay. he has been my solid rock. not only emotionally and physically, but he has researched so many things, asked the nurses/doctors/etc so many questions and has provided so much reassurance and knowledge to me. he has a grasp of it all...see as a mother, i tend to let my feelings blur the facts. when i hear words like "brain bleed" and "hydrocephalus," my mind automatically thinks the worst. i graduated nursing school years ago, but i have to admit that some of my nursing knowledge flies out the window a bit when it's my baby. in this case, this is where jay steps up to the plate and gives me a better description of what was really said. he listens. he doesn't freak out. he is optimistic. and at times when i feel absolutely helpless as i sit back and watch sweet baby jemma be pricked and prodded hour after hour...he reminds me that she's going to be okay. that it's for the best. that's she's heavily sedated and can't feel a thing. and why yes, knowing the latter makes a huge difference for me...i don't want my baby in pain. i just want to hold her, rock her, and tell her everything is going to be alright.

((deep breaths))

a week has gone by since sweet baby jemma was born, but to me it has felt like eternity only because i have felt every emotion under the sun. low lows and high highs. we have never prayed this hard. or this much. while we are always leaning on each other, we have ultimately put this in God's hands and we know He will take care of her. we hope you sleep tight tonight, sweet baby jemma. we love you. xoxo


Jamie said...

Continually praying for Jemma and celebrating the GOOD! What an awesome man you have in Jay....He has to be a rock to be a daddy to three little girls!!
Love ya! Jamie

Anonymous said...

Hang in there cousin Kim. Jay is right on..she will be alright. She's in good hands and she's a tough fighter! Praying that this roller coaster ride will end soon for ya'll. God is now in steering..
Love, Agnes

A Mom to Two Lil' Ones said...

Praying daily for all of you. Wish I was there, wish there was something I could do. I love you all! Hugs to you my sweet friend.

Megan Quattlebaum said...

Oh Kimmie! You are in my thoughts and prayers every single day.I pray that baby Jemma is healed by God's sweet hands and that she comes home soon. I'm sure those 2 sweet girls of yours can't wait to play with their new baby sister. May God Bless

The Badyrkas said...

Hi, I have been following your blog for a while now through a friend of a friend. I'm praying for baby Jemma.

My sister is currently receiving chemo and she also has a picc line. They are wonderful and will prevent Jemma from having to keep getting stuck with needles all the time. I hope they have more luck inserting it tomorrow.

She is a doll!

Heather and Britt said...

I'm so happy that Baby Jemma is doing so much better! We've been praying for her and your family every day! Love the updates and the pictures of your sweet girl!!

Kim said...

thank you, ladies for the reassurance and encouragement. ya'll are so right! also, the prayers are very much appreciated. xoxo